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Coffee ft. Blueprint

from Growing up Gay by Chris Conde

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lyrics

(Blueprint)

Yea, yea, you know, like this

I was a known lush / known to rush the bar like a gold rush / so pumped to post up / dress down and poured up / always drunk so excited / throwing up then deny it / nobody was tripping ‘cause I’m tipping like a strippers client / 3am driving drunk headed home an average night / caught slippin’ look into the mirror / seen the flashing lights / panicked and frightened feeling they caught behind the wheel I’m embarrassed can’t believe I put myself in this position / stroke of luck they let me go / you’d think that was the end / until I’m flagged for the same thing the very next weekend / I somehow passed again / they left me off the hook got home / found a mirror / then took a long look / thought I’d see the young man that used to be so happy, but barely recognized the person staring back at me / he was worn down and tired, bored and not excited, playing with fire because his life was uninspired / I couldn’t hide it, had to do some soul searching / decided right then and there to do some soul searching / 6 years later, still made the best decision / ‘cause every single day my life just get’s better/


(Chris)

I was a known addict / known for dramatic acts savage / when I’d black out and make mistakes tragic / like i was raised to make havoc / but finally one day I had it / drawing on a napkin / in a bar with a no car / about to be evicted from my pad when I / ran into this feeling like death exhaled a breath over me / a whisper of grotesque poetry the knowing of my future dead floating leaves on stagnant water / but when I feel I’ve gone too far I just go farther oh father oh mercy / lift this curse please / cuz the whiskey just keeps turning / me into a hollow shell of a person / burning from the inside out because Jameson does not suffice as breakfast / Im just a reckless drunk in Texas doing drugs to just forget shit / so I called a friend / and I was like ‘I don’t know how to live, something needs to give / my life has gone to shit and I can’t think of anyone else to blame except myself” he said “great” that’s an amazing place to start, and I sensed a spark from deep within my heart and it’s been four years / no beers no drugs less fear, more love sure ‘nough / my life is kinda sorta amazing / I feel my spirit sunlight bathing and I’m grateful everyday because my life just gets better.

credits

from Growing up Gay, released January 1, 2019
prod. by. Chris Conde

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Chris Conde Brooklyn, New York

Matching technical lyricism with subversive, punk rock bravado queer Brooklyn rapper Chris Conde’s live show tells the story of the rapper’s voyage out of drug addiction and internalized homophobia. It’s a blood-letting ritual punctuated by the Brooklynite’s sex-positive prowess that continues to challenge and inspire his audiences, while dramatically shifting the landscape of indie hip-hop. ... more

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