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Step Outside

from Growing up Gay by Chris Conde

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lyrics

riding on my bicycle from work / hand shaking head hurts mind flirting with the idea of hurting / myself with poison noise and static poised to misdirect my choices yes the voices / whisper in my ear softly a long spree of drug use had gripped my wallet and tossed me / across a lost sea of hopelessness and i hope this gets better kid cuz i know that it’s / killing me willing me to fill my innards to the ceiling with something that's gonna make me feeling sweet feelin me? / insanity had left me lost and naked vacant spiritually bankrupt will i make it? / take this obsession from me. i wanna run free and let the spirit’s sunbeams come freely unto me/ lift the sun-screen from my rusty beating heart comfort me with even just a teeny spark please / i'm dying here i'm writing “dear john” letters to a mirror and i fear / i've severed all clear tracks for trains of thought outta here save me god i can hear the tip-toeing walk of the reaper near i'm not thinking clear and if i drink this beer i really think my fears will manifest themselves. hells bells will wail and i'll be jailed in tears kill it / the toxic thought process got my conscious filled with all kinds of nonsense the kind that/s constant the onset of monsters stompin / I wanna get out of myself but its myself that i'm locked in

step outside of the circle repeating

i am just a combination of decisions drivin’ by self will's incision intermittin’ / with the crisp glittering of pre-written disposition listen cuz i'm spitting as a witness to this / schism between the self and the system i walk in line with the rhyme but it's time the i find a witness / so listen up cuz i'm puttin rhymes in your cups and my words i'm linen 'em up so drink it up and get a glimpse of / the spirit moving i'm grooving and not boozing not losing my time getting high fly to the altitude of / the suit up, show up, grow up things not the screw up, too drunk, throw up things i'm a / new creation the old it is so gone i don't want to hold on like thighs without gold bond / i roll on like dice on the sidewalk i park my bike next to a mic so it's amplified when i talk / i'm just a man saying get free i live free from the things that had make me sickly and his hand was the damage plan that would lift me up to the surface to flourish and to get rid of these crazy ways of livin breaking out of a prison checking out of a system mister how could i miss it. kiss it goodbye listen cuz my mission is to be spittin so eyes get stripped of blindfolds an intervention of the spiritual get with the miracle especially if you're restless discontented or irritable / here I go on a roll with the syllables uncontrollable literal i'm unfolding these golden flows like a waterfall yo!

credits

from Growing up Gay, released January 1, 2019
prod. by. Chris Conde

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Chris Conde Brooklyn, New York

Matching technical lyricism with subversive, punk rock bravado queer Brooklyn rapper Chris Conde’s live show tells the story of the rapper’s voyage out of drug addiction and internalized homophobia. It’s a blood-letting ritual punctuated by the Brooklynite’s sex-positive prowess that continues to challenge and inspire his audiences, while dramatically shifting the landscape of indie hip-hop. ... more

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